


Wore My Heart Out On A Chain Around My Neck (And Now It’s Missing)

by TwistedIllusions



Series: The Word “Happy” Would Lose It’s Meaning If It Were Not Balanced By Sadness [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Bad Things Happen Bingo Prompt, Good Brother Ben Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Klaus Hargreeves Needs Help, Klaus Hargreeves Whump, Klaus Hargreeves-centric, M/M, Most Treasured Possession Destroyed, dave katz - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22395766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedIllusions/pseuds/TwistedIllusions
Summary: Klaus would hold onto Dave’s dog tags; clutch them firmly within his palms and run his fingertips over the cool stainless steel memorabilia, cherishing the sensation of Dave’s name carved within the insignia against his skin. This was all that he had left of him; his only tether to Dave left in this world—his most treasured possession.Or, Dave’s dog tags break, and so does Klaus.
Relationships: Klaus Hargreeves x Dave Katz
Series: The Word “Happy” Would Lose It’s Meaning If It Were Not Balanced By Sadness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612021
Comments: 31
Kudos: 207
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Wore My Heart Out On A Chain Around My Neck (And Now It’s Missing)

**Author's Note:**

> Bad Things Happen Bingo  
> Prompt: Treasured Possession Destroyed
> 
> Big shout out to MildeAmisoj for giving me the title for this story!! Thank you!!!
> 
> Here it is, y’all! My FIRST official prompt FILLED!! I plan on my card being a blackout, so if you enjoy this and want to read the rest of my prompts as I post them, be sure to subscribe to me!! :)

Memory:  
mem·o·ry  
/ˈmem(ə)rē/

noun  
1.  
the faculty by which the mind stores and remembers information.

2.  
something remembered from the past; a recollection.

But what happens when the mind no longer allows such information to be kept? Klaus had always been a jack of all trades, however the few devices he was remembered by; such as his bountiful mistakes, his many years of drug and alcohol abuse, and his unfavorable skill set in lying, cheating, and stealing, were the few occurrences within his life he only wished could be forgotten. 

No one paid any mind to the fact that Klaus’s wit was as sharp as any one of Diego’s plethora of knives. His memory was a tool Klaus took pride in, giving him an impossibly unfair advantage during his years of addiction. Klaus never forgot a face, or the name of any one of his numerous dealers. He could always remember the perfect spot to hide in order to avoid paying off a debt that was due, and remembered where his favorite fellow low-life’s liked to spend their inimical time. Klaus always remembered just when they would be there, and knew exactly when to steer clear of those forbidden areas in order to circumvent any unwanted confrontation.

_One day, however, all of that slowly began to change..._

It started small; like a tiny blip on the radar. Klaus was walking with Ben to meet their siblings for a donut at Griddy’s, an establishment they’d frequented countless times within their lives. He’d walked that exact track at least a thousand times before, and yet Klaus suddenly found himself wandering aimlessly, feeling lost and confused. He tried to shrug it off, acting as though he wasn’t bothered by his sudden inability to remember the path to his favorite eatery. He tried to chalk it up to him clearly being too hungry to focus, or too tired from his constant nightmares, or even from his failed attempts at Conjuring Dave to think straight. He played it off so well, in fact, that his brother Ben believed him.

It wasn’t until those tiny blips started occurring more frequently, and began appearing in other facets in Klaus’s life. He started stumbling over his own tongue, finding difficulty in finding the right words when he spoke. Klaus could recall every single detail from his time in Vietnam; right down to how many paces it took for him to get from his cot to Dave’s in the dark of night, and yet he struggled to remember what he’d eaten that morning for breakfast. His moods started shifting inexplicably; one moment he would be his usual exuberant rambunctious self, focusing all of his energy on trying to pull Dave back to this world; finally conjuring his love, and then the next he would be trapped within himself, buried beneath an overwhelming sense of depression, and dread. Klaus’s day to day life became apathetic as his usual interests no longer appealed to him. Klaus was tired, never wanting to go out with his siblings anymore, or to socialize like he typically would. If Klaus was honest with himself, he constantly felt stuck; feeling as though he was emotionally flat. 

These symptoms began to occur rather frequently; so often that Ben felt the dire need to intervene and insisted Klaus see someone about his sudden mood swings and memory loss. Klaus, of course, tried to assure his brother that nothing was wrong, that he was fine, there’s always a simple explanation for such minuscule irregularities within his mind. 

After all, it was _him_ they were talking about...

His focus must’ve simply been preoccupied with ghosts, another PTSD episode, exhaustion from his failures by his own powers, or whatever other oddities plagued him at that time. Ben, however, refused to allow Klaus to ignore his symptoms for a moment longer, forcing his ex-addict brother to finally cave in and agree to seek medical attention.

_Early onset dementia was not at all what Klaus nor Ben had anticipated to be what was causing Klaus’s symptoms to occur..._

Klaus’s heart sank when the stark realization hit him that he was quite literally losing his own mind. He couldn’t believe it; how could someone with special ‘abilities’ somehow be subjected to such a mundane peculiarity such as dementia. He was young—far too young to suffer such an ‘elderly persons’ disease. He was only thirty-one years old, they’d just stopped the apocalypse a little under a year ago, how could his lucidity possibly decline so rapidly? 

The doctor explained it must have been caused by his well over a decade of drug and alcohol abuse, while his siblings and Grace speculated it could have been caused by Klaus’s exposure to Agent Orange during his time in Vietnam. The accumulation of all of those variables mixed with Klaus’s severe post traumatic stress disorder, and his unrelenting endeavors to ultimately conjure Dave all played a detrimental role in Klaus’s steadily declining mental health.

Knowing what he knows now, that his memories would continue to fade, the fear of forgetting the only person who ever meant anything to Klaus; the one person he ever truly loved more than himself, struck an unfathomable cord within his heart: he couldn’t allow himself to ever forget Dave.

So, Klaus applied himself, pushing the limits of his abilities further than he’d ever attempted before. He couldn’t allow Dave’s memory to slip from his grasp. He needed to hold onto him; clasp onto his love like he continually clutched his dog tags around his neck, and never let him go. Klaus knew he needed to conjure Dave, more so now than ever before. Klaus never wanted to forget his love’s perfect face; with his ocean blue eyes and their striking ability to bare straight into his soul, or his award winning smile that never failed to blanket his ivory skin with goosebumps. More than anything, Klaus couldn’t allow himself to forget the way Dave made him feel; that overpowering sensation of joy, that feeling that he was worth so much more than what he always surmised himself to be, that unimaginably tangible physical awareness of being _loved._

Klaus wasn’t ready to let that feeling go, and he never would be.

For months this went on, Klaus locking himself away within his room and focusing on one thing, and one thing alone: _Dave_.

Klaus would hold onto Dave’s dog tags; clutch them firmly within his palms and run his fingertips over the cool stainless steel memorabilia, cherishing the sensation of Dave’s name carved within the insignia against his skin. This was all that he had left of him; his only tether to Dave left in this world, and as the months passed by and the oils from his fingers corroded the metal, the letters began to diminish and fade away; much like his memories. Sadly, the harder Klaus pushed himself, tried to break the barrier within his abilities and pierce through to the other side of the veil in an attempt to draw his love back to him, he only seemed to propel his own mental faculties further away. 

Klaus’s mind was withering at an alarming rate. After months of pushing his physical and mental limits well beyond their breaking point, Ben couldn’t allow Klaus to continue down his self-destructive path any further. He saw the changes in his brother first hand; Ben was the first to realize the start of his symptoms, and as they continued to worsen, it broke his brother’s heart. He begged Klaus; pleaded with him to please, _stop_ , there was nothing more he could do. Dave was gone, if he continued to push himself like this, soon the memory of him would be gone, too.

It physically tore Klaus’s heart from his chest as he accepted the devastating truth. Ben was right; Dave was gone, and he would never be able to bring him back. 

More time had passed after Klaus’s utter defeat, and learning he needed to quit the only fix he had left - trying to retrieve his love from beyond the grave. His mental status continued to diminish, the constant sensation of feeling confused and lost left Klaus thoroughly frustrated; and he absolutely hated himself for it. Klaus trudged down what he hoped would be a familiar street, but with each lumbering stride Klaus took, he realized he hadn’t the faintest idea of where he was, nor where he was headed. Truthfully, if he were being entirely honest with himself, he no longer could bring himself to care.

Klaus was already lost within himself, lost without his love, and struggling to differentiate between what is, what was, and what could have been. His shoulders shook as a sob tore through his chest, and yet Klaus didn’t understand why he had been reduced to tears in the first place; the reasoning having already slipped his feeble mind. Klaus reached above his heart, and held Dave’s dog tags within his hand. His lips trembled, giving way to the raw emotion building within his chest as a stray tear tumbled over his hollowed cheek before trailing down his wobbly chin. He ran his thumb over the vaguely familiar worn out letters; the star of David nearly indiscernible any longer due to the wear and tear from Klaus’s constant attachment to the esteemed article of jewelry. The engraved inscription of his love’s name was already nearly gone, just the faintest hint of lettering remained against the stark hunk of metal. Soon it would be reduced to nothing; just a hollow shell of what it once was, just like Klaus now found himself to be.

Klaus shifted his sights to the overcast sky above him just as the clouds deemed it appropriate to release an amassing amount of rain that pelted against his pale skin. Suddenly, a tempestuous feeling of emotion filled Klaus; leaving him feeling such an overwhelming sensation of grief, of loss, and of _heartbreak._

He found it fitting that the weather surrounding him matched his mood so perfectly at that moment. Klaus just couldn’t stop thinking about Dave. He missed him so much, Klaus had truly never felt such an immense sense of loss as he did when his love was forcibly torn away from him. Loss was the side of love they never warned you about. That should you lose your love, your heart would be buried alongside them. It was impossible to prepare yourself; for when the soil would be dispensed atop the lustrous cherry wood of their casket, it would bury your soul six feet under right along with them.

Klaus’s memory may be failing him, but he still recalled how his heart ached in those final moments that he spent with Dave; watching him choking on his own blood, a gaping hole within his chest as Klaus held him firmly within his arms. The memory of witnessing his love take his final breath was still freshly engraved within his weary mind. Klaus felt his entire world collapse in that moment of loss; the brilliant light of his life Dave was gone, and in his absence Klaus was left with the looming shadow of darkness. 

Klaus watched the life leave his love’s eyes, and only wished that his own life had left too.

The light sprinkling of rain quickly morphed into a torrential downpour; brilliant sparks of lightning spread like veins across the dark and gloomy sky. A resounding clap of thunder encircled around Klaus, swallowing him whole. Klaus’s heart clenched as the thunderous booming brought his fragile mind back to an echo in time he felt himself starting to forget. Then, out of nowhere, the flashes of lightning were replaced by the blinding flares of Napalm, the thunder morphing into a barrage of bullets as his world shifted to a scenery he faintly found eerily familiar.

“You’re okay, Klaus. You aren’t there, you’re safe. It’s just a storm.”

Klaus hadn’t even realized he was hyperventilating, his breathing irregular and unsteady as he struggled to fight off whatever this was that he was feeling. Where was he, what was this place? Why was it so loud? He covered his ears, desperately trying to ward off the deafening reverberations within his skull. He was surrounded by men in green army fatigues, rushing all around him, rifles aiming and firing in every direction, their ear splitting shouts leaving his already damaged mind reeling with an all new onslaught of confusion and fear.

“This isn’t Vietnam, Klaus. It’s just a thunderstorm. This is just your PTSD. I know you don’t remember, but trust me, you’re okay. Please, take a deep breath and open your eyes.”

Klaus’s eyes slowly split open, his surroundings gradually coming into a clearer view. The flames from the napalm bombs eventually receded, along with the troops of soldiers as the hollow imitation of a memory deteriorated, depositing him back safely within his present reality. He was okay, he was back in the alley, just him and his... _brother?_

Wren? No, no, his name is _Ben._

“Good, Klaus. You’re okay, keep taking deep breaths. Inhale in through your nose,” Ben sucked in a long breath, demonstrating his command, his voice staying steady and calm, “now exhale slowly through your mouth. Good, Klaus. You’re doing great.” 

Klaus pressed his fingers against his eyes in a vain attempt to staunch his ever flowing tears. Why was this happening to him? Why couldn’t he just _remember?_

Klaus needed his love, he needed Dave. Why couldn’t he just have him back? Why was god so cruel to him, depriving him of his memories, and stealing his love away? He knew he wasn’t the best person, but he didn’t believe anything he’d ever committed warranted such a terrible and cruel fate. 

He supposed Karen—no, _fuck_ , KARMA really was a cold-hearted bitch...

Klaus leaned back, resting against the course texture of the brick wall behind him as he desperately tried to rack his brain simply attempting to remember his love’s _face_.

His heart fluttered as the memory of his love’s features slowly began to gain semblance and take shape within his abstracted mind.

Klaus frowned when he found that the image was ill-defined; like looking through the condensation of an exterior window on an early winter morning, obscure and blurred in clarity and form. He could vaguely distinguish any recognizable characteristics. Klaus took in a deep shuddering breath as he tried to hopelessly piece the memory of his love back together within his mind. 

Klaus remembered that he was tall; his build just slightly taller than his own, only succeeding to make him all the more beautiful. His shoulders were well developed; broad, strong and tanned by the kiss of the sun...or at least he thought they had been? He remembered the way his short whorling locks of hair would cling to his sweet laden forehead during their many missions; each individual strand taking on the appearance of winter ravaged ivy tendrils. Dave’s hair had always been unusually soft, Klaus could almost still feel his perfect ringlet curls between his touch deprived fingers; they were always the perfect shade of brown... _no wait_...was his hair blonde? Klaus shook his head to clear his etch a sketch memory and try to recall his love’s appearance once more. 

One feature Klaus would never be able to forget about Dave were his eyes; they were the deepest pools of the most phenomenally striking shade of blue. Dave’s eyes had a special way about grasping his attention and never letting go. Dave’s eyes were the first thing he noticed about him; the first thing that drew Klaus to Dave, that attracted him to his love. They were also the last memory he created of Dave; when the life breathing flicker of light went out behind his irises, and his vibrant soul catching stare faded; becoming vacant... _when he—_ Klaus desperately shook his head to rid that recollection from his mind, he loved Dave, and didn’t want _that_ memory to be the only one he could recall upon about his love so easily. He took a deep breath, trying to remember something, _anything_ other than that. 

Klaus definitely remembered that he had a single deeply set dimple upon his beautiful face; only the one, and it was on his... _which cheek had it been on?_

It was on his...

He had…

No, no, no…. _why?_

Why did this have to happen, why couldn’t he just see his love’s _face?_ Klaus’s limbs began to tremble as his heart continued to shatter. He had already lost his love, he couldn’t bear to lose the precious memory of him, too. Klaus reached for his dog tags, entangling the chain around his slender fingers and held it against his chest, pressing _him_ as close to his heart as he could, cherishing what bit of his love he had left before pulling the worn metal to his lips. 

“I’m so sorry,” Klaus whispered against his most treasured possession, the only piece of Dave he had left. “I am so sorry, I’ve failed you. I’ve forgotten you. I promise, I didn’t mean to,” 

Klaus wept, his breath catching in his throat as his sobs wracked his tormented form.

“I promise I never wanted to. Never. I swear, I love you, so, so much. I love you, Da—“

_The name of his love fell short on Klaus’s lips, lost within the vacant depths of his fragmented memories..._

He’d lost him; the love of his life, the only person he ever truly loved more than anything in his entire world—he was _gone_. No face to pull from recollection, no name - just a distant splinter of what he once had. All Klaus could see was the lifeless expression in his vacant eyes from that fateful night; his final moments with his love, the only clear memory he still had. 

_What a cruel punishment..._

Klaus ran. He didn’t know where he was, he didn’t care if his brother followed him, he didn’t care where he wound up, he just needed to leave; to get away, to escape from himself. 

“Klaus, stop!” called Ben, but his voice landed on deaf ears. Klaus was trapped within himself, unable to find a way out. 

His calves burned as he ducked through endless corners, dodging unexpecting pedestrians in his wake. He couldn’t stay there, he didn’t want to be there any longer, wherever _there_ even was. He needed out, he needed—

“There you are you little shit,” A fist was suddenly clamped around his shoulder stopping him and spinning him in his tracks, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. You’re one tough son of a bitch to track down, you know that?”

Klaus didn’t recognize the man who currently held him firmly within his hands, but whoever he was, he looked angry.

“M’s-sorry, but, do I—“

“Owe me a fat stack of bills? Yeah, as a matter of fact, you do!” The man roughly shoved Klaus, slamming his slight frame against the corner of the dumpster behind him, he groaned as he crumpled to his knees, a shooting pain radiating in his back from the sudden impact.

“W-who are you? Please, I don’t want any trouble,” Klaus held up his palms; HELLO, GOODBYE, in surrender, unsure of what he should do. He didn’t recognize this man, how could he possibly owe him a ‘fat stack’ of anything? And owe him a what, exactly? “I’m sorry, I-I don’t know who Bill is?”

The man threw his head back as he erupted in a loud guffaw, genuinely taken aback by Klaus’s comment. 

“Humor will get you nowhere, kid. Now, where the fuck is my money?” The man spat, his saliva landing atop Klaus’s right thigh. He peered down to the disgusting gesture soaking into his worn out and faded black jeans with a grimace.

“W-what money? I don’t..I don’t have anything. I don’t even know who you are. I—“ He paused, a tear sliding down his cheek while his lips trembled in uncertainty and fear; Klaus focused his sights to the spit on his lap as he continued, his voice remaining meek, not even a whisper. “ _I barely even know who I am._ ”

The man furrowed his brows in anger, lurching in Klaus’s direction while he frisked his body with immense agitation in search of what he sought after, only to come up empty handed. Klaus hadn’t lied, he didn’t have anything; no money, no recollection of anyone or anything, no will to live— _nothing._

Perhaps that was the only positive to come out of this harrowing situation, maybe the man picked up on Klaus’s thoughts, or that little brat in the sky finally found a place in her heart to pity him; because the next thing Klaus knew was an excruciating searing pain as a bullet tore through his chest, leaving him a limp heap of bones and flesh on the cold concrete slab beneath him.

“ _Klaus!_ ”

He felt oddly content as the puddle of his blood expanded rapidly; staining the pavement and seeping against his skin, soaking through his threadbare shirt. It was warm; a comforting comparison to how cold he suddenly felt. Klaus knew what this meant, his body shivered as his vitality dwindled, his vision growing hazy as the world began to wither and fade before him.

“Klaus, please! Hang on, you have to hang on!”

This was it, his sweet release. He would finally be reunited with his love. Klaus reached with unsteady hands for his dog tags, clasping the cool metal between his crimson drenched fingertips— and then his heart panged with an immense sense of _guilt_.

They were ruined; the bullet blasted through Klaus’s most treasured possession - _they were destroyed_. The twisted, mangled shards of what was left of his love were imbedded within his empty chest. 

The pain from the bullet within his chest paled in comparison to the gaping wound it created within his bleeding heart. A strained smile crept across his features as he let out an agonized laugh. That was _him_ , Klaus knew that had to have been his love’s last attempt to keep him safe, try to protect him, to try to save his life; by placing his dog tags between the path of the bullet and his heart. 

_What a pity for him that it hadn’t been enough..._

Klaus had lost everything that ever mattered to him—all of his most treasured possessions; Dave, his dog tags, and the memory of his _love_. He had nothing left to live for, and he was okay with that truth. 

He groaned as his pain intensified, his breathing becoming increasingly raspy as each breath became shorter in pace.

How poetic, Klaus thought, that his own fate would mirror his love’s tragic demise. He only wished he had his love here to hold him; cradle him within his effortlessly strong and loving arms, and console him as he took his last breath just as he had for him. He sought solace in his grief, if only he could just see his love’s beautiful face, hold him one last time, surely it would put his broken heart at ease.

“Please, Klaus! Don’t give up! You can’t, please! Don’t do this to me!”

Klaus’s eyes began to feel heavy as his energy continued to fade. His breathing was becoming more shallow; each unsteady breath diminishing as they became more labored and weak. 

“B-B-Ben-ny,” Klaus sputtered, blood now pooling from his lips. “M’s-s-sorry.” 

“Klaus, please! Please, open your eyes, don’t you dare do this to me!” Ben pleaded, tears streaming down his cheeks. “I’m supposed to watch over you, you can’t go! You can’t! Klaus, please!”

Klaus’s entire reality felt so strange; it was as though the world itself was revolving around its axis in slow motion. The sound of his brother’s anguished voice slowly started to ebb away, and in his place was the steadily dwindling rhythm of his own failing heartbeat. Klaus’s tear filled eyes fluttered as darkness began to flood his vision, causing it to slowly become more faint. Klaus could _feel_ himself dying, he knew it was coming when the feeling of serenity overwhelmed him and his pain began to fade away.

“Klaus, please, listen to me! You have to fight this, please! No, Klaus, open your eyes! Don’t do this, I’m begging you, please—“

Ben’s voice grew less distinguished as everything became so dark. Klaus had never liked the dark, and yet somehow this time he found its arrival comforting, as he welcomed it with open arms.

“ _Klaus?_ ”

Klaus’s damaged heart fluttered, his senses slowly returning to him as a second voice chorused amongst his brother’s. 

A new voice; a voice Klaus vaguely found himself to remember. A kind, gentle voice that sent a shiver down his spine. He weakly opened his eyes at the sound of footsteps approaching him; who could have found him, why couldn’t they leave him be, just let him die? Let him finally reunite with the only person he ever truly wanted to see.

Suddenly a presence was leaning over him, the warm comforting touch of a hand cupping his cheek as they lingered a few mere inches above his face. Klaus’s eyelashes fluttered in rapid succession as he tried to rid the haze from his vision. The newcomer leaned closer; their blurred features intensifying as they enhanced; until finally sharpening into vivid focus. 

They wore a soft grin displayed brilliantly across their lips; a single deeply set dimple adorning their left cheek. Klaus squinted as he examined their vaguely familiar expression and then—

_Those eyes…._

Klaus _knew_ those eyes, he would never be able to forget such stunning wave pools of blue. Klaus’s lips quivered; a steady stream of fresh tears cascading his cheeks as the realization hit him; his recollection returning, as his long lost memory at last burst back to life.

“ _I missed you, jitterbug._ ”

Tears continued to plow past Klaus’s lashes as he absorbed this moment; this was it, this was _real_ , he finally had his love. Not just a fractured memory of him, but _him_ himself.

“ _Dave?_ ” His name, which once had been lost amongst his disconnected memories, was suddenly found. His love beamed, pressing ever closer as he affectionately pressed his lips against the tip of his nose.

Klaus smiled; a genuine thing, the first real show of happiness he’d felt in so long. He closed his eyes as he relaxed against his love’s gentle touch, his warmth enveloping him like a tender embrace. Klaus no longer had to fight just to hold onto his memory; he knew he would never be without his most treasured possession again. Dave was here, not just in memory. Klaus was happy; the memory of the vacant stare behind his love’s eyes finally wavering as the light returned to them again.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments fuel my soul!!! If you liked this, loved it, found it upsetting, etc, let me know!! I’d love to hear your thoughts!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!!!


End file.
